


No place like the bunker

by heyassbutt_oneshots (Susan_the_Gentle)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4170843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susan_the_Gentle/pseuds/heyassbutt_oneshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorothy summons the King of Hell to try and get Charlie back, but is told of the friendships the Winchesters have made with the Supernatural. After 10.22 The Prisoner, but ignores the events of 10.23 Brother's Keeper, although Dean does lose the MoC.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	No place like the bunker

**Author's Note:**

> Teen purely because of the nature of the show.

Crowley appears in the basement of the bunker, stuck in the devil’s trap again. “Hello, boys. What do you want this time?” Silence responds. “Moose, squirrel, what in hell do you want?” When he gets no response, he turns quickly to face where they usually stood. He gasped.

“ _You’re_ the king of Hell? You were a plain old crossroads demon when I was hunting.”

“Dorothy, love. It’s been years since you were hunting. What have you done with the denim-wrapped nightmares?” Dorothy refused to answer his questions, considering him unworthy of an answer. Dripping with sarcasm, Crowley once again tries to talk. “What did you want me for, My Royal Oz-ly Highness?”

“You do not possess the power for it. The previous king of hell had enough power to save people, but you do not.” Low sniggering alerted them both to Sam and Dean’s presence. “Good morning boys. I thought you were supposed to be hunters, not the best friend of a demon. A demon playing at being the king of Hell, at that.”

“You’d be surprised, love, at how many supernatural creatures they’re friends with. I wasn’t the first demon. There was Ruby and Meg, both of whom have tried to kill them. And, of course, the Mark of Cain turned Dean into a demon -”

Sam cut into Crowley’s speech, stepping between Dean and Dorothy, trying to stop Dorothy from trying to kill Dean. “He’s not a demon anymore. The Men of Letters worked out how to cure a demon.”

“I think I noticed the lack of black eyes on your brother, Moose.” Dorothy visibly relaxes. “Now, where was I? Ah, and therefore Cain was technically an ally. Some monsters, too. Lenora, though she’d only killed once, and after Eve came.”

“Purgatory was opened?” Dorothy stares, unbelieving.

“Yes, and Wings became the second God, let the Leviathans out and died except didn’t, then Squirrel and Wings got sucked into Purgatory by killing Dick Roman, where they made friends with a vampire, helped him escape, but Wings stayed because he thought it was punishment for rebelling.”

Crowley pauses for a minute, recollecting where his monologue was meant to be.

“There you go Dorothy, another monster they’ve been friends with. Benny the Vampire. Killed hundreds of innocents before Purgatory, but became, and I quote him, _cute and cuddly_. Garth, although he’s a friend of all hunters who’s hiding the fact he was turned hunting a werewolf. And Amy too. Although that way only Moose, Squirrel killed her after she killed people cause her son was ill after both spending both of their lives on dead people’s pituitary glands after she fell in love with Moose.”

“What?” Dorothy’s face was a picture.

“And, the powers of heaven haven’t left them alone or friendless. Wings, especially. The angel Castiel rebelled against Heaven, Molotov’d Archangel Michael and killed Archangel Raphael. And thousands of normal angels too, in the Civil War, caused by the two of you. Gabe loves you two.” He points at the two Winchesters, who are staring at him with as close to a poker face as they could manage. “You’re his favourite humans.”

Dorothy’s face is amazed. “Gabe? Who is Gabe?”

“The archangel Gabriel.” Crowley continues without acknowledging Dorothy’s splutter. “And Balthazar, he liked you, however much he complained and told you that’d you’d confused him with the other angel in a dirty trench-coat.”

Crowley breaks his speech about allies of the Winchesters with a simple question. “What did you want me for, again? Surely with the reins of hell, I can pull something together. Something about saving someone?”

Dorothy’s face lit up slightly. “Yes.”

“Let me guess, the red-headed geeky little Winchester?”

“That would be incorrect, unless you are talking about Charlie, whose last name was Middleton originally, not Winchester.”

“She was their little sister they never wanted. Okay, I’ll bring your girlfriend back.”

Sam and Dean sit there, stunned. 

“Hello, bitches. Wondered how long it would take you.”


End file.
